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The barrage balloons seem to be working so far although I have had to explain to a few people why I have balloons on the Van with have printed on them 'I am 1 today'! Only ones I could get. I expect that they may turn their attentions to the flat roof of my flat but the maintenance chappie will deal with that, not asking how.
Dear Grandma,
I think I know the reason for your bad luck. On your way to Ronaldsway each day are you waving vigorously and shouting GOOD MORNING LITTLE PEOPLE when passing over the Fairy Bridge? (Manx people were being politically correct before the expression politically correct had been invented)
I think I'd rather be called a Little Person than a Fairy anyway.
Let us know how you get on as I and the rest of your grandchildren are just a tad concerned that some of the locals are treating you so badly.
Can't be the little people as I do not have to go over the fairy bridge but I must admit I forgot to say Hello on the bus to Douglas yesterday. In case any one has not been to the Isle of Man, we believe in fairies, also called the little people or 'themselves'. The road to Douglas from Castletown goes over a bridge over a small stream. The fairies live under the bridge so you must say Hello to them or they may take offence and do nasty things to you.
William and Kate Seagull are still around in the vicinity but seem to be losing interest. Not taking any chances though and the barrage is still in place.
Dear Grandma,
One last suggestion. We think you should indulge in the old Manx custom of drinking a bottle of gin and running naked through Strand Street in Douglas on a Saturday afternoon. (I have seen it done)
If that doesn't change your luck with the locals then at least the breeding season will be over by the time you get out.
I thought I had won the battle against Kate and William setting up home on my Van roof. Last Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning with Van parked in usual place they were totally ignoring it and the Ballon Barrage had deflated so just left it. Looked out the window at 7.30pm Sunday to see William and Kate both with dried grass in beaks just about to lay the foundations of a new home. (Guess where!). Dashed out and put out the one balloon I had left. Now have replenishment balloons aplenty. They must have a short memory span, not noticing Van was not there Friday and Saturday AM. Very persistant birdies.
A few days on, Mr and Mrs Seagull are still hanging around in the vicinity but keeping off the Van till................this morning!. Balloons still flying but as it is raining and very little wind , the balloons were almost stationary on the roof. Looked out the window at 07.30 (early for a Sunday but I had to go into work) and there they were, Mr standing on the Van roof and Mrs having a practice nesting site sit . Rushed out in my dressing gown to shoo them away but Mr Seagull never budged until I put the Roof skylight up. Can't leave it up as it is raining. He then settled on a nearby fence a few feet from Van. I walked up close thinking he would fly away but I amost got close enough to do something nasty (I wouldn't, but the thought was there) to him. Had the last laugh this AM though as I used to van to get to work. Won't be back parked up till about 2pm and will put more balloons out. May get a couple of those Helium silvery balloons on Tuesday as they seem to be getting used to ordinary ones. Any other ideas PLEASE?
Dear Grandma,
We, your Grandchildren in Manchester, don't think the silver balloons are a good idea as the seagulls might think they are sardines.
A wise man called Eric once lived in Manchester and he said "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much."
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