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I do hope this is not to risk K - if so I apologise in advance.
Every morning and through the day Ethels husband passed wind with gusto and even worse, he was proud of this achievement and did his best to maximise each and every attempt.
One morning as she lay in bed, her husbnad farting away like mad she said, "If you carry on like that - one day - as sure as eggs is eggs - you will blow your guts out." Hubby laughed and let off another one.
Some weeks later wifey got up early in the morning to get ready a turkey for their Christmas dinner. Hubby was still fast asleep.
This was her moment and she carried the giblets upstairs and pulled back the duvet to expose her hubbys Y fronts. Very gently, she pulled on the elastic and carefully placed the giblets inside his pants.
Pleased with her work she hurried down stairs to await the climax of her plan.
Sure enough, she soon heard the first of the mornings farts followed by an ear splitting scream. She heard footsteps running into the bathroom and her husband muttering, "Oh my God. Oh my God!."
Half an hour went past and she began to be concerned when was relieved to hear him coming down the stairs.
"You know what my dear - you were absolutely right. My guts did come out but by the Grace of God and a jar of vaseline, I managed to get them all back in."
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