Intergalactic Traveller (coarse) Forums

tonyt

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a petrol station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the petrol pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying: "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pump, oddly enough, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. But the older alien advised him: "I'd calm down if I were you."

The younger alien ignored his warning and loudly repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's superior attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently: "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

Standing back, the older alien again warned his comrade saying: "You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky young alien as he aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was an immense explosion. A huge fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burned, smoking heap over 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed…
When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was going to be so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his smoking crispy friend and replied: "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can wrap his penis twice around himself and then stick it in his ear."