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Malc

FOR WOMEN ONLY!

Midlife is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down. This
gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

Midlife women no longer have upper arms; we have wingspans. We are
no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Midlife has hit when you stand naked in front of the mirror and can
see your rear end without turning around.

Midlife is when you bounce (a lot), but you don't bounce back. It's
more like splat!

Midlife is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube
top and scream, "Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those
things will too!"

Midlife is when you realize that, if you were a dog, you would need a
control top flea collar.

Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so
old that you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

You know you are getting old when you go for a mammogram and know it
is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless in a film.

Midlife brings the wisdom that "life throws you curves" and that
you're now sitting on your biggest ones.

Midlife can bring out your angry, bitter side. You look at your
latte-swilling, beeper-wearing know-it-all teenager and think, "For
this I have stretch marks?"

Midlife is when your memory really starts to go: the only thing you
still retain is water.

The good news about midlife is the glass is still half-full. Of
course, the bad news is that it won't be long before your teeth are
floating in it.

hymmi

Hi malc,

Thanks for that Malc,always nice to have something to look forward to Shocked

.............

chrisatoxford