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I just want to send my sympathy and hopes for some better times. You might be ill yourself or it might be someone you love. If you feel like replying, it's not necessary to say what your problem is, though you are of course welcome to share this.
We have been living with my wife's developing dementia for 12 years and this Christmas has been the most depressing we've ever spent.
I have had some amazing support from MHF members over the past couple of months and I'd like others to be aware of what a great benefit this can be.
I just joined the forum tonight full of enthusiasm about my new motorhome and to use these few minutes browsing the site as an excuse to escape the noisy turmoil of family life going on downstairs this Xmas Day. I don't know why I read your post but it was a good reminder to me that we musn't ever take things for granted and to grab life with both hands and embrace those close to us while we can. I feel sadness that your Xmas has been depressing and send you my very best wishes.
Yes, I'm so glad that I persuaded Sue to get our van in 2006. I'd had a more basic VW camper when I first met her and in the two vans and particularly the new one we've had some memorable holidays.
They may be few and far apart but try and bring a focus onto even the smallest positive or funny moment. It is you that needs the strength. When it comes to re-living the moments you have just been going through, anything to lighten your moments can help to extend your patience.
Like many others we are aware of your situation but cannot feel your pain.
Mother-in-law who was never easy, still looks to be the same person but has gone through phases of bad language (totally out of character) to not knowing or understanding anything, to lashing out with a fist if my wife gets too close.
By necessity, she was moved first into a care home and then into a last home where her 24 care cannot be faulted. She knows nobody now and requires total care.
The greatest pain for my wife is the 120 mile drive to see her, as she is homed nearer to her two sons and old home background.
Have strength and try and keep positive.
Regards
Alan
The messages of support are great. I was hoping the thread might provide the opportunity for others who haven't thought of sharing their pain to do so and receive similar support. I guess the people who are feeling really down now aren't browsing the forums.
I guess the people who are feeling really down now aren't browsing the forums. Phil
Or maybe they don't find it easy to talk about their problems Phil?
They know the support is here if they need it, which is one of the best things about MHF.
Your advice is 100% accurate . . . "Let's do it now, while we still can" is a phrase that creeps into our conversations more and more frequently as we get older.
Problem is it's only when you have loved someone that you feel so sad when they are gone either literally or figuratively. It's so difficult (but necessary) to try to remember the good times and smile at the memory.
Somehow Christmas makes it more difficult though.
Written through experience.
Sue
______________________________________________________________ Sue
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Italy
