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a poor man has to go into hospital. his problem is that everytime he goes to sleep he wakes up with a bed full of s**t.
after the nurses have spent 4 mornings cleaning him and the bed up they decided they must do something about it as nothing the doctors had tried worked.
As he was a heavy smoker they decided to withdraw his ciggies until he woke up with a clean bed.
well the first night he thinks that if he stays awake all night he will be ok and get his ciggies back. but unfortunately just before the nurses come round with the morning cuppa he falls asleep and wakes up with the bed full again.
he goes all day without a cig and again that night he tries to stay awake. but again he falls asleep. the bed is full again
he is now desperate but has had a couple of nights with only a few minutes sleep and he drifts off quite early.
at 6 he wakes up and the bed is full again. He can't face another day with no ciggies so he hits on a plan. he scrapes, rolls and flicks and he does it until there is no sign of anys**t in the bed.
The nurses are delighted when they come round with the morning tea.
they praise him and one of them goes off to fetch his ciggies.
she gives them to him but after his ordeal he thinks, " I might as well give up"
he turns to the patient in the next bed and says " want these mate?" offering him the ****
his reply " if they're owt like yer f**kin malteaser's you can f**kin keepem"

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