In the office without a paddle.

14105 Views 29 Replies 13 Participants Last post by JohnsCrossMotorHomes, Jan 29, 2010

Pusser

Discussion Starter · Jun 9, 2009

Have my one man, one lady canoe in colours that will attract all sea and rescue craft within 1000 miles but alas alack aday I have no paddles or puffer upper.

Never ever thought I would be posting in the Sport section and may I say what a priveledge it is to be in among such muscular and trim members.

What I am really hoping for which I think exists is a kayak paddle with a blade at each end but when pulled in half becomes two single independant one blade rowing devices. (Sorry to be technical here but no other way. 8) )

Item 2.. I would like a 12v puffer upper to blow the thing up.

Item 3... I would like 2 x very basic life vests. I tried to fob the missus off with the grandchildrens arm bands but no joy.

And general advice please re going on rivers and lakes.

Are there laws in UK and\or France re canoeing rivers and lakes or can you just paddle off where ever you fancy within reason.

Is it bad to get in the canoe with it touching the bottom?

Will I look like Shallow Hals girlfriend in the canoe as missus is not even 8 stone and I am ten more.

I thank you.

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101776

· #2 · Jun 9, 2009

PLEASE tell me where you are going to launch I want to come and watch!!, sorry I don't have the answers to any questions but think you should perhaps practise a bit in a calm shallow pond first....

Slight technicality with the difference in size, you might need a bit of ballest in front of the missis especially if you are sat behind her!...no offence intended....but then again her handbag such balance things out ! ouch! (I'm a woman I'm allowed to tease like that)....

Whatever happens, you must post photos on here, it will brighten me up no end!!

As it happens I used to love canoeing when I was younger but that was another life time ago in Rhodesia....no one except the crocs cared which bit of river you were on!

tonyt

· #3 · Jun 9, 2009

Some years ago I watched, with envy, an elderly gent in an inflatable canoe. Twas in a bay on a Greek island - he launched into the almost calm sea, raised a sail (looked like a beach towel tied to the paddles), and gently wafted across to the other side of the bay - it took a couple of hours, never more than 100 yds from the shore.

I've always wanted to do the same but never quite got round to it.

Alfa_Scud

· #4 · Jun 9, 2009

THIS is what you need for a blow job Pusser 8O :lol:

Pusser

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 9, 2009

Alfa_Scud said:
THIS is what you need for a blow job Pusser 8O :lol:

That'll do nicely and at the same time lets the missus concentrate on dusting.

JohnsCrossMotorHomes

· #6 · Jun 9, 2009

Pusser my beloved friend, if you speak to Darren seeing as you bought your new toy from us, I am sure he will be able to assist you further in your quest for a 'puffer' and some things to keep you afloat if you tip over!

As to the two bladed paddle that comes apart, sorry sold out but we have some singles.

Kind regards

Peter

Pusser

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jun 9, 2009

bouncer said:
PLEASE tell me where you are going to launch I want to come and watch!!!

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I can feel my self esteem ebbing away as I type.

I will of course get some pics but on Lac Acquibillette which is not spelt like that I used a campsite canoe and had such a marvellous time getting up at 6 in the morning and floating gently in between flowering lillypads watching out for terripins also not spelt like that. Magical.

I also remember getting out and dropping my brand new Sony video camera in the water. Oh! How I laughed.

I have had one or two Kodak moments one of which was out in Gib and I borrowed the ships mini sale which is a board with a sail on it and your bum sits comfortably in the water.

I have two fond memories of that trip - the first sailing through an oil tanker that was being welded up enough to get it to dry dock after an explosion in one of its holds.

The dockies who were glued on to scaffolding watched in disbelief as I sailed straight through the hole and this was at least half a mile out to sea. (The hole was so big a couple of Eurostars could have gone through it together with space for a third). I then spoilt the day but not seeing some ropes from other craft in the harbour which trashed the mast sail and me and all I have left to show for my journey was a pair of shorts.

We recovered the board later together with sail and mast and someone kindly mended it onboard saving me a few bob I daresay.

A pic of this lovely lake below.

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Pusser

Discussion Starter · #8 · Jun 9, 2009

JohnsCrossMotorHomes said:
Pusser my beloved friend, if you speak to Darren seeing as you bought your new toy from us, I am sure he will be able to assist you further in your quest for a 'puffer' and some things to keep you afloat if you tip over!

As to the two bladed paddle that comes apart, sorry sold out but we have some singles.

Kind regards

Peter

You are very kind. I don't really want single paddles because being the Alfa male 8) I shall be using the canoe to bring back sustainance from the lakes and rivers on my own most of the time and I will look silly trying to row a kayak.

I am wondering if you can make teripin soup. Don't see why not at you can make mulligates into soup.

The puffer would be good so please pm me with details so I can sort.

I just cannot wait for the maiden voyage which I think has to be commenced with a naming ceremony and a bottle of Carver sprinkledon Piglets bow. Yep. Piglet. Daughter of Porky.

peejay

· #9 · Jun 9, 2009

Being as you made me feel really guilty selling my old canoe to someone else I suppose I better try and answer a few of your queries to make ammends :lol:

What I am really hoping for which I think exists is a kayak paddle with a blade at each end but when pulled in half becomes two single independant one blade rowing devices. (Sorry to be technical here but no other way. 8) )

I've tried double paddles before and you will get wet guaranteed as the water runs down the shafts as you paddle so I prefer the single paddles, but its personal choice as always. Have a scan on ebay, theres a few on there.

Any general advice please re going on rivers and lakes.

Make sure you sit at the back, then the missus won't be able to tell when you're not paddling 8)

Are there laws in UK and\or France re canoeing rivers and lakes or can you just paddle off where ever you fancy within reason.

Couldn't tell you about France, I suppose there is some sort of permit you're supposed to get but we've never been stopped yet.
For UK you need to join the BCU which includes a canoe licence..

http://www.canoe-england.org.uk/membership/

Is it bad to get in the canoe with it touching the bottom?

No probs getting in touching bottom, its the pushing off afterwards that might scratch and damage the base so try not to. Also, don't go in shallow water with that red skeg thing fitted underneath or you might damage it.

Can I come watch your maiden voyage too? :lol:

Pete

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Pusser

Discussion Starter · #10 · Jun 9, 2009

Many thanks PJ. Perhaps we ought ot have a "Pusser goes to sea" rally.

But if I am being watched I shall be a bag of nerves. Best to wait for Sky News.

Thanks for the links to, except Ebay, which I would never deal with as long as my little bum :roll: looks downwards.

I have used double paddles before and yes you are absolutely right you get soaked. But to be honest, my style of canoeing means you are soaked even before you set off so no prob for me. 8O

DTPCHEMICALS

· #11 · Jun 9, 2009

Only once have i ventured on water in a canoe. We had taken a bunch of Scouts for the day to learn watercraft.
My job was to be on watch.

Along comes instructer with lads already installed in canoes. Who is on watch shebellowed. Meakly i replied me.
Where is your canoe she asked. Haven`t got one, and never been in one said I.
Don`t worry you will get the hang of it. So there i was sat in this narrow plastic thing, i was pushed off. First stroke with right paddle and within seconds i was upside down in th ruddy thing.
Thats where the life saving part of the day came in.
Canooists = brave or brainless

DAve P

Pusser

Discussion Starter · #12 · Jun 9, 2009

I think Hiawatha got off to a shakey start so much so he lost his canoe and his girlfriend was stuck at the other side of the raging river. It happens to the best of us. 8O

For me I am happy whether I am in it or out of it as sitting on the top is no difference from sitting on the bottom other than the oxygen thing. 8)

peejay

· #13 · Jun 9, 2009

First time I got in ours I jumped in one side all excited and immediately fell out the other all wet. :roll:

Your balance does come eventually with time and practice.

Paddling down the most perfect of Toad of Toad Hall English rivers on a summers day expecting to see Ratty at the next turn just can't be beat.
We once saw an otter

Pete

Pusser

Discussion Starter · #14 · Jun 9, 2009

peejay said:
First time I got in ours I jumped in one side all excited and immediately fell out the other all wet. :roll:

Your balance does come eventually with time and practice.

Paddling down the most perfect of Toad of Toad Hall English rivers on a summers day expecting to see Ratty at the next turn just can't be beat.
We once saw an otter

Pete

This is the stuff I can't wait to see. I love early mornings because that I am sure is when Ratty will be at his most industrious. This is a good time also to see the terrapins in the lakes around Annecy and herons perched on one leg ready to take out Kermit

I see Scandinavian otters have been introduced into Scottish rivers but I can't remember which river it is.

I have already had the appropriate requests forms from the children which I am considering and will make my decision only after I have first go. I feel I need to show them how to do it. 8O

DTPCHEMICALS

· #15 · Jun 9, 2009

Hi peejay to see an otter round the next bend can`t be a sscary as tootling round a bend on suzuki, to be confronted by a combined harvester

Dave P

peejay

· #16 · Jun 9, 2009

DTPCHEMICALS said:
Hi peejay to see an otter round the next bend can`t be a sscary as tootling round a bend on suzuki, to be confronted by a combined harvester

Dave P

Scary, didn't you get water in your carburettor 8)

Pete

carolgavin

· #17 · Jun 9, 2009

Oooooh Gav has a wee blow up dingy thingy. I got in it for a wee shot and promptly boaked everywhere, we hadn't even moved.
Once crossed to French France on the ferry and boaked everywhere once it docked in French France, travelled the whole bit of sea ( canny mind what its called!!) between the two no bother at all.
Good luck pussy hunny and all who sail in Piglet!!!

bob44

· #18 · Jun 9, 2009

Pusser,

Like many others I am eagerly awaiting further news of your Sea Trials in the said Canoe 'HMS' (?) Piglet.

I think that the Flag Officer Sea Training outfit has long since moved from Portland to Pymouth, but as a Submariner I can only repeat my S/M Escape Training advice:

When attempting a free ascent escape from a distressed vessel at any depth you must always remember to breath out all the way to the surface,
otherwise your lungs will explode (and may frighten the terror-pings).

You must also add a Personal Distress Indicating Device to your safety equipment, and at your age you probably still possess Flares (in your wardrobe?)
It is highly recommended that you wear those, too!

C'noe? C'inell !!

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catzontour

· #19 · Jun 9, 2009

peejay said:
Is it bad to get in the canoe with it touching the bottom?

Click to expand...

No probs getting in touching bottom,

Pete

This sounds really exciting Pusser - who's bottom do you have to touch when you are canoodling/canoeing? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sue

Pusser

Discussion Starter · #20 · Jun 10, 2009

Thank you all so much for the advice which I am humble enough to take. With my record I am grateful for any I can get.

Sue. At my age and brief 10 years pretending to be a sailor I tend to be not too particular whose bottom I touch.

The only thing I cannot cope with is someone touching mine and that includes public loo seats, doctors with rubber gloves on and the supervisors at boarding school who used to tap our bottoms as we exited the showers in the same manner as the chap in charge of people parachuting out of aircraft. (I have often wondered too

).

Other things that offend my nether region are bicycle saddles and thongs although in fairness I should not have stolen them from next doors washing line. 8O

Bob44 I like the HMS thing so Porky I believe should be HMS Porky which has a certain ring to it whereas Piglet will simply be the seaboat.

This link may be interesting to you as I checked it to see if Porky had already been taken. 8)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ship_names_of_the_Royal_Navy_(A)

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