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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi Paul

Thanks for the thoughts, where are you from in The shire? I am originally from Derby (nr Markeaton Park)

George
 

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Hi George - Dronfield - Nth Derbys.
Should be out in the peaks today, but trying to study for NEBOSH Diploma 2 in H&S.
53 years old and still studying.
2 more weeks to go, and then I'll throw in the towel whether I pass or fail.
If you're up this way drop a line, and we'll put the kettle on.
Paul.
 

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Its not the end of the world but it seems like it at the time. My wife went of with my best friend. They stitched me up with the Inland Revenue. I lost my nice house in the new forest, lost my business. Later followed by illness that lead to heart attacks, almost died. I am now at last over it all, and life is better than ever, even without any money! And as for my poor health I am learning to live with it. The best thing for me is finding things to do in life apart from this computer.
 

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Really sorry to hear that George. I think from time to time I am guilty of the same thing. Spending too much time thinking about what I haven't got and not appreciating the multitude of things I do have. It's posts like these that do make me stop and ponder on the most fortunate life I have. And Merlin, when you get into deep doo doos you really do but most heartened that you have fought your way out of the mire and enjoying life once more. A lesson to us all and a lesson to you George as well. It's good to talk about these things because it is a reminder to others that may be going down that path and I think it helps when you see other people who have had similar carnage and got though it.
 

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marriage breakdown

George,
I'm so very sorry for how things are for you and your wife at the moment. I wouldn't presume to give you advice, as only you and she really know the depths of how things are. Maybe a little time apart will crystalise how you are with each other. I know you will still have a close loving relationship with your little girl.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and however things turn out, may you eventually find contentment and happiness.
Time is the only healer.
Regarding your business, please don't let it fold through inaction on your part. I agree with those who have advised you to talk to everyone involved, landlord, bank etc.
We wish you the very best of luck. Hang in there!
Mary and Mike
 

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The next time she goes out leaving you with your daughter why not just change the locks and you bring up the kid. She may change here mind then. From what I gather she likes to be in control. I know its not always easy but stand up like a man.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Hi Paul (Merlin)

I am not sure who you are thinking of or even what gave you that idea? but my wife is not controlling (she told me to tell you that in no uncertain terms lol)

What do you count as standing up like a man? Is that the bit were you pretend to be perfect and its all her fault?

Hi Drummer

I do agree marriages need working at by both parties, but I can also see that I have been at fault for so long and ignored the warning signs, if anything I wish this had been a good kick in the pants wake up call, rather than the end, The problem I think is that we never really had a ding dong argument, even now we are not arguing, we are discussing the options (for break up, not for sorting out the marriage)

May soon end up being a fulltimer! I am working on the Bus now, catch you all later
 

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When I say stand up like a man I mean if she wants to end it tell her to go. You stay and keep the kid. Let her divorce you. This way you still have a home for a while. If she stays make here sleep in the spare room.
 

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George,

Been there, done that and still have the scars to prove it.

No one can tell you what to do and you both need some time(apart) to cool down and sort things out. The pressures have been building up for some time, although you did not know it and a quick kiss and a drink will not solve anything.
For my twopence worth, this will take some time to resolve if you wish to keep your family to-gether and you will need to re-assess your life and priorities and find out how you can put the pieces back to-gether. Remember that you both loved each other enough to make a commitment to live to-gether and to have a daughter. Perhaps your daughter may be able to help you both to calm down and SLOWLY gather your lives again.

All the very best, for the pain will never leave you if you cannot find a solution.
 

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Hi George,
First of all - you are very brave to share your circumstances on this site, and I guess that by finding others who identify with your situation, you may be hoping to make the right decisions.
Sorry if I intrude, but I think there is a danger from accepting the advice of others, because their circumstances may not be exactly the same as yours, and their goals may be different.
It looks very much like you wish for a reconcilliation, and if that is so, I would advocate pushing as hard as it takes for that.
I say this with the greatest respect to those who have so kindly advised you (and it speaks volumes of the kind of people we have in the motorhoming fraternity that so many care).
My only advice would be to seek expert consultation from Relate, these individuals are trained, and can help you both deal with this sitation in a way that not only minimises hurt to yourselves, but considers the consequences of this to your daughter.
We'll be thinking of you,
Paul & Kath.
 

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George
So sorry to hear of your pain, it is not easy to see a way through all of this I know, I agree with Paul and Kath professional advice may well be the best way forward. My marriage broke up through my fault entirely and it took me 3 years to realise just how much I had lost and that I was the worlds biggest fool. But by then it was too late and I had lost everything.So even if the worse comes about I would say stay in contact, be friendly and supportive and one day she too may come to realise that being single is not what she wanted. I feel for you just wish I could really help
Helen
 

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George if it was you spending too much time on here, why are you still on here! Wouldn't it be a start in the right direction if you were to quit forums? If you're still talking there may be a chance. It seems to me you are hooked what with being on all the forums plus your own. I was in a very sad state last year and the doctor sent me to a shrink, I thought it was him that was mad and I was ok. Still the happy pills have sorted things out and I am leading a normal life again.
 

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Sorry

Sorry to hear that,

Been there done that. Are we not all guilty of taking the ones we most care about for granted at times.

It isn't till after they are gone that we realise how stupid have been.

Just hope things arn't too late for you to make up. If she does go she may decide to come back.

I lost my 1st wife to illness and brought my kids up myself. Lucky for me we are very close. But at times when they were younger I was too strict and I still regret that.

Hopr things turn out ok 4 u.

Ianu
 

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merlin said:
George if it was you spending too much time on here, why are you still on here! Wouldn?t it be a start in the right direction if you were to quit forums?
I have to agree, you won't find any solution to your marriage problems on here. It's similar to being a junkie or acholic, except you seem to be addicted to the internet (if this the real reason for your problems) the only answer is to go 'cold turkey' throw away your computer if your serious & try to make a go of your marriage.
It takes two to make a marriage work but only one to screw it up. Sorry if I don't seem sympathetic as most others do but you need a wake up call.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Hi All.

Not looking for an answer here, there doesnt appear to be an answer my wife as made her mind up.

Wife is having no part of any reconciliation talks, as far as she is concerned its over, we are discussing Daughter, property split, finances etc but thats it.

Most of time on here as been to see were we stand over certain issues, Ann will probably have a new mortgage by the weekend to buy me out.
 
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